Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

What does your name mean?
Please see the About TLG webpage that explains our name as well as the history of Through the Looking Glass.
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Who are "Parents with disabilities"? What kinds of parents does TLG work with?
"Parents with disabilities" include a broad spectrum of mothers and fathers of children of all ages including adult children. Some parents are blind, Deaf, have a physical disability, a psychiatric disability, or a developmental disability. Some disabilities are life-long, others are more recent. Disabilities can be stable, progressive or varying. Some people typically don't even identify themselves as "disabled" -- such as Deaf parents, parents of short stature or parents with certain medical conditions such as MS. Terminology can vary according to a particular community, region or country. For example, at TLG we use the term "parent with an intellectual disability" to refer to people who are identified in other areas as "a parent with a developmental disability," or "a parent with mental retardation." Similarly, some people prefer the term "blind" to "visually-impaired." Other parents prefer to be called "deaf" rather than "hearing impaired." We try not to get bogged down in terminology, but emphasize the strengths and perspectives each parent and family has. The important distinction which underlies all TLG activities is that our information, training and technical assistance will be appropriate and sensitive to the needs and cultural frameworks of a wide variety of parents and children.
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Does TLG's program imply that all parents with disabilities need special help or services?
No. Like all parents, parents with disabilities come in all shapes, sizes, colors and abilities. Most parents with disabilities are loving and competent parents and need no special support or services. However, for those parents with disabilities who do need information or support, there is very little available. The system of care for parents with disabilities and their children is remarkably undeveloped in most communities. Another tendency is to over-generalize issues of parents with disabilities, overlooking specialized accommodation/adaptation needs and cultural needs relating to deafness and disability. Similarly, many programs and systems of care underestimate the expertise needed for effective services for parents with disabilities and their children.

Similarly, many parents with disabilities are isolated - not only from appropriate services and resources, but from other parents with disabilities. We repeatedly hear from parents who tell us they know no other parent with a disability in their home community. We can provide expert consultation in a variety of parenting issues (such as pregnancy, adoption, custody, adaptive equipment and techniques), help trying to locate resources close to home, and offer opportunities to network with other parents locally and nationally. Also, we try to build upon and share the information and solutions other parents with disabilities have come up with - rather needlessly reinventing the wheel each time.
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What kind training does the TLG staff have?
TLG's staff represent a team of professionals from diverse backgrounds, most of whom have personal or close family disability experience. Our staff and consultant team includes infant mental health specialists, developmental specialists, psychologists, researchers, rehabilitation engineers, occupational therapists, social workers, marriage, child and family therapists, special educators and childbirth educators. Several staff members are nationally recognized experts in their field and have been working in the area of disability and family for more than 20 years. TLG staff contribute their expertise to the development of national public policy, and staff members have served on task forces at the National Institute of Health and the National Institute of Disability and Rehabilitation Research. TLG has also been the subject of national media attention including CBS, ABC, the New York Times, the Washington Post, and Parenting Magazine. There have been numerous publications by TLG staff in a wide variety of professional and popular journals and books.
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Can you give me some statistics on how many parents with disabilities there are in my city or state?
In general, there is very little reliable data on the numbers of parents with disabilities - by disability, by state, or by age of children. Most public data systems do not even gather information that identifies parents with disabilities. The result is an underestimate of the numbers of families with parental disability in community needs assessments and a lack of funding for their services. It is often assumed that there are few parents with disabilities, when parents with disabilities in fact represent 15% of all parents of children under age eighteen, 24% of single parents, 18.7 % of African-American parents and 16.3% of Hispanic parents.

TLG conducted a national survey of parents with disabilities in 1994 - 1996, and the extensive report from this study includes several important demographic features and issues of those parents participating in this survey. To get a copy of this report, please see our Publications Order Forms page.

You can also view our 2002 national study of The Parents with Disabilities and Their Teens Project. Included is an analysis of data from the National Health Interview Survey.
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Does TLG provide services to children with disabilities?
Yes. TLG provides direct services to families in the San Francisco Bay Area - families in which an infant, child, parent or grandparent has a disability, deafness or medical condition. Nationally, we are funded as the National Resource Center for Parents with Disabilities. Although our national focus is on parents with disabilities, some of these parents have children with disabilities and as such are part of the family we provide national consultation and resources to.
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Are TLG services free?
In almost all cases, yes.

Locally, we can provide families with disabilities with free in-home intervention services under one of several grants and the East Bay Regional Center. These grants vary in terms of families who qualify to receive these free services (typically depending on the age of the child, the type of disability in child or parent, and/or the family's geographic location). We also facilitate support groups for parents with disabilities as well as parents of infants and children with disabilities. If your family lives within the Bay Area (particularly Alameda County or Contra Costa County) call our office to see what is available for you and your family.

Nationally, we offer free consultations to parents with disabilities, their family members or professionals working with these families by phone or email. We also offer several free publications including via mail, email or our website. We do charge for some of our more extensive publications, videotapes and curricula. Please see our Publications page.

Most of our staff presentations, trainings and workshops are coordinated and facilitated by other local, regional and national organizations. In some cases there are registration fees, in some cases there are no fees to attend, and in other cases scholarships to attend may be available. Please see our calendar for upcoming events and details of how you can attend one of our presentations, Trainings and Workshops.
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How can I get in contact with other parents with disabilities in my area?
TLG coordinates a national Parent-to-Parent network that connects parents with disabilities to other parents with disabilities. The network connects parent mentors with parents with disabilities around the country. The network is a way that parents can share resources, parenting tips and concerns with other parents with disabilities in similar situations. To join the network go to TLG's National Parent-to-Parent Network page for more information.

You can also try posting to our General Discussion for Parents with Disabilities and Their Families.
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I'd like some help or information. What should I do next?
You can call us:

• Toll-Free: U.S. (800) 644-1666 (voice)
• U.S. (800) 804-1616 (TTY)
• Outside the U.S. (510) 848-1112 (voice)
• Outside the U.S. (510) 848-1112 (TTY)

Or, you can fill out a request online: How to Contact Us

Or, you can email us at: TLG@lookingglass.org
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Where can I buy the adaptive equipment that you make for parents with disabilities?
People frequently contact us to ask how they can purchase the adaptive babycare equipment they have seen in some of our publications or videos or heard about during one of our presentations. Unfortunately most of this equipment has not been mass produced and cannot be purchased at this time. Almost all the adaptive babycare equipment TLG develops are prototypes - many of them one-of-a-kind, others reproduced for families who have participated in one of our adaptive parenting equipment research projects. We're currently attempting to take a few of our most useful pieces of equipment to market. However, this is challenging because companies that manufacture baby care equipment mistakenly assume that the market of parents with disabilities isn't large enough to make money. Marketing baby care equipment to make it more widely available continues to be our goal in the future.

However, we do offer ideas of how parents and others can build some adaptive babycare equipment from scratch or modify commercially available products. Our publication - Adaptive Babycare Equipment: Guidelines, Prototypes & Resources - is designed to be a catalyst for problem-solving babycare equipment issues and to demonstrate the sort of solutions that are possible. This book also offers practical techniques which require no special equipment. If you have further questions concerning adaptive babycare equipment, please Contact Us and one our Adaptive Babycare Equipment specialists can review your situation.
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I'm writing a paper on parents with disabilities. Can you help me?
In most cases we can send you annotated bibliographies on the following topics: 1) adaptive babycare equipment, 2) pregnancy and birthing, 3) Deaf parents, 4) parents with visual disabilities, 5) parents with intellectual disabilities, 6) parents with psychiatric disabilities, 7) adoption, 8) custody, and 9) parents with multiple disabilities. Please also refer to our Publications page of the website for articles and reports to download or purchase.
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I'm a parent with a disability, and I need help finding a job. Can you help?
In general the unemployment rate among people with disabilities is quite high and for parents with disabilities this can be even higher as parents need to stay home to care for their children. Unfortunately, Through the Looking Glass does not provide employment assistance. If you go to our Links page and go to the employment section, there are several links on employment issues related to disability. You may contact your local State Department of Rehabilitation for employment assistance.
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I am a parent with a disability. Where can I get financial assistance?
Social obstacles and the lack of public resources means that parents with disabilities typically have more out of pocket costs than other parents. The costs for equipment, transportation, personal assistance and healthcare costs are particular problems. At the same time, the incomes of most parents with disabilities are substantially lower than parents without disabilities. The average monthly household income for disabled parents is $1,000 less than that of non-disabled parents. Although TLG recognizes the financial hardship faced by many parents with disabilities, we are unable to offer any financial assistance.
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I'm a parent with a disability, and I'm involved in a custody situation. Can you help me get a lawyer?
TLG can not provide an attorney to represent you. We have no attorneys on staff, but do have a Family Law Adviser.

Although we can not provide an attorney, there are a number of ways we can assist. We have considerable expertise in legal research pertaining to the custody issues of parents with disabilities, as well as evaluation and intervention practice and research that is applicable to many cases. We can provide technical assistance or consultation on the phone directly to a parent, advocate or attorney. We can also provide annotated legal precedents and references regarding custody and parents with disabilities. This is found on our Publications page. This material is gathered and updated frequently; the precedents are organized state-by-state. This information can save a lot of attorney research time and support attorneys or public defenders' awareness about the legal rights of parents with disabilities.
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How can I get more services and resources for parents with disabilities in my community?
In many cases, new and improved services for parents with disabilities -- and even larger changes in system-wide or statewide policies - began with one parent's effort to find appropriate information and resources in their local community.

Our National Parent-to-Parent Network not only provides networking opportunities for parents with disabilities. We also offer additional leadership training and support for these parents to help them organize and develop innovative strategies to meet the needs of their local communities. Drawing from our expertise and extensive national collaborations, we can serve as a catalyst, encouraging dialogue about issues and collaboration between community organizations and regional systems. We can provide supporting data, publications and training to local and regional groups of interested parents, family members and professionals.
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I would like to have someone from TLG present at our conference or do a workshop. What do you charge? What's involved?
Drawing from diverse professional and cultural backgrounds, TLG staff have presented and trained over 25,000 parents, advocates and professionals nationally and internationally. The fees involved depend upon the scope of what's being asked - the length of the training or presentation, the number of TLG staff involved, the size of the audience, whether or not travel is involved. In some cases, we may have special grant funding which can supplement the costs an inviting agency or organization is able to cover. Please contact TLG and we can discuss the details and options available.
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What are some of the most common issues faced by parents with disabilities?
In 1997, TLG's National Rehabilitation Research and Training Center on Families of Adults with Disabilities conducted a national survey of parents with disabilities. The results of this first national survey of parents with disabilities can be summarized in eight life areas related to parenting with a disability:

1. Pregnancy and Birthing. 44% of disabled parents reported that pregnancy and birthing for themselves or their partner was an issue affected by their disability: 36% reported that the provider's lack of disability expertise caused problems during prenatal and birthing services, 31% reported that providers' attitudinal problems caused barriers, 24% reported medical complications related to their disability during pregnancy or birth, and 18% reported problems with physical accessibility of the provider's facilities.
2. Ability to Conduct Parenting Activities. Disabled parents reported needing the assistance in recreation with their children (43%), traveling outside the home with their children (40%), chasing or retrieving children (39%), and lifting or carrying children (33%). Areas of assistance needed by parents varied according to the type of disability.
3. Insufficient Transportation. Transportation was an issue which affected more aspects of parenting with a disability than any other issue. 79% reported transportation as a problem which interfered with or prevented routine and critical parent-child activities.
4. Access to Child Care. Cost was the most frequently identified barrier to child care (30%), followed by lack of transportation (20%), access issues (15%), lack of appropriate services (11%), and lack of information where to find child care (6%). While certain individual factors may be pertinent to all families, this underestimates the effects of multiple barriers such as cost, lack of access and lack of disability-appropriate services.
5. Need for Adaptive Parenting Equipment. Barriers to obtaining adaptive parenting equipment were cost (48%), lack of information about such equipment (44%), the unavailability of such equipment or that it had not yet designed (32%), and there is no one to make this equipment (19%).
6. Personal Assistance Services. 57% reported using personal assistance services for help with parenting. Problems with using personal assistance were that it often was not available when needed (54%), was unreliable (46%), interfered with the parent's role (38%), and assistants were inexperienced in knowing how to care for children (35%).
7. Inadequate Housing. 43% of all respondents reported facing at least one barrier with regard to housing for parents with disabilities. The most frequently identified barriers to housing were: too expensive (33%), inadequate space (28%), and inaccessible (25%).
8. Attitudinal Barriers. 42% of disabled parents reported facing attitudinal barriers including discrimination (32%), pressure to have a tubal ligation (14%), and pressure to have an abortion (13%). Despite the sample population's high education level and the limited participation of parents with cognitive or psychiatric disabilities, 15% of parents reported attempts to have their children taken away. 8% reported they experienced attitudinal barriers which interfered with or prevented adoption.

Our national survey sample differs from the national population in that it includes fewer minorities, more women and generally higher income and educational levels than the national population. Survey analysts anticipate that even higher numbers of parents would have reported challenges, barriers and service needs if more parents with lower incomes, lower education levels and more members of minority groups had participated. The final 220 page report on this survey -- Challenges and Strategies of Disabled Parents: Findings from a National Survey of Parents with Disabilities (Toms Barker, Maralani, 1997) is available from TLG.
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